Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
