gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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