WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He? As in you personified your dick?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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