He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
