How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
