i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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