Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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