You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I have demons in me.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize
