i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
