it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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