I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Two words: blizzard sex
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
