you traded sex for a burrito?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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