I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
