K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
