1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Holy sore nipples Batman
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