can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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