"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
