New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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