ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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