Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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