Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
