tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
