sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She is in my trunk
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
