I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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