I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
