My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
