I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
