I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize