Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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