i think i have herpe
just one?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
