she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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