That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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