I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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