I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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