Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
