like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days