he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
