I accidentally had phone sex last night
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
