I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
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I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
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That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??