Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
