Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
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My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.