Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
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Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
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Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.