Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
