So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.