the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.