quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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