thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
