well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize