only if we run a train.
done.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
