She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
