we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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