Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
