i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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