My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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