I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize