I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It's never too late to be topless.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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