he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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