the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
