I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
