I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
