i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Randomize
