i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
