R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
