I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize