If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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