I looked at my own cervix.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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