This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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