i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
