Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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