You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
