remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
