dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
it was like eating out sand paper
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
